How to Make a Good First Impression: 8 Simple Habits

Learning how to make a good first impression comes down to a handful of things you can control: being prepared, looking at ease, showing real interest in the other person and staying yourself. Impressions form fast, sometimes in a fraction of a second, but they are not carved in stone. Below you will find eight habits, a step-by-step plan for the first minute, advice for the moment when it goes badly, and an honest note on where our book in Spanish by Mateo Nevarez fits.

In brief:

• Research suggests faces are judged in about a tenth of a second.
• You cannot control that instant, but you can shape the next minute.
• Be on time, dressed for the occasion and relaxed in your posture.
• Smile naturally, listen, ask questions and use the person's name.
• A weak start can be repaired with consistent behavior over time.

In this article · 12 min read

1. Why first impressions form so fast
2. How to make a good first impression: 8 habits
3. The first minute, step by step
4. One focus for each situation
5. What if the first impression went badly?
6. Three myths about first impressions
7. Where our book fits
8. When to ask a professional
9. Who it is for
10. Key terms
11. Frequently asked questions about first impressions
12. Sources

Why first impressions form so fast

A first impression is the quick judgment you form about someone, or someone forms about you, before there has been time to know the person. Researchers at Princeton showed volunteers faces of strangers for only 100 milliseconds, then asked them to rate traits such as likeability, trustworthiness and competence. Those ratings agreed strongly with the ratings of people who could look as long as they liked, and trustworthiness showed the strongest agreement. Giving people more time mostly made them more confident in their judgment (British Psychological Society Research Digest, 2006; original study: Willis and Todorov, Psychological Science, 2006).

Two things are worth keeping in mind. First, the study measured how much quick and slow judgments agree, not whether the judgments were right. A snap impression is a guess, and it is often shaped by stereotypes. Second, it was about photographs of faces. A real meeting lasts longer than a tenth of a second, and what you say and do in the next minute gives the other person plenty of new information.

That is the practical message: you cannot control the first instant, but you can control a great deal of what comes after it.

Alexander Todorov, the Princeton psychologist behind the 100-millisecond study, presents his research in a talk at a conference hosted by Emory University: how quickly we form impressions from faces, how much they sway decisions and how far they can mislead us.

Mateo Nevarez's view

In Lenguaje Corporal, Comunicación Persuasiva y Retórica, available in Spanish, Mateo Nevarez explains snap judgments with heuristics, the mental shortcuts first described by the psychologists Amos Tversky and Daniel Kahneman. One of his examples fits first meetings: a stranger's clothes remind you of someone you know, and you assume the two are alike (representativeness). Others work in the same quiet way: on a bad day you lean toward the safest option (affect), and the first figure you hear sets the frame for the rest (anchoring). His rule is to use these shortcuts knowingly, but to slow down and look at all the information when a decision matters. It cuts both ways: the person you meet is taking shortcuts too, and your next minute gives them better information to work with.

How to make a good first impression: 8 habits

These habits follow the ten tips our book gathers for first meetings, plus a few findings from research. None of them needs a special talent.

1. Be on time, or a little early. Lateness sends a message before you say a word. For a job interview, the book suggests arriving about ten minutes early, which also gives you time to breathe and settle.
2. Dress for the situation. Choose clothes that fit the place and the people, and that you feel comfortable in. Neutral and tidy is rarely wrong. If you are unsure, ask the organizer or look at how the company presents itself.
3. Smile naturally. A real smile is easier to read as warmth than a fixed one. If you feel tense, take one slow breath before you greet the person, and let the smile come with the greeting rather than before it.
4. Keep an open, relaxed posture. Stand or sit upright without stiffness, face the person and keep your hands visible. Arms tightly crossed can look closed even when you are only cold. Leaning in slightly signals interest.
5. Look at the person, without staring. Eye contact shows attention. Hold it for a few seconds at a time and let your gaze move away naturally. Customs differ and some people find long eye contact uncomfortable, so follow the other person's lead.
6. Greet in the way that is usual where you are. Where people shake hands, a medium-firm handshake with a brief look and a short greeting works well. In a study of 112 university students, firmer and more complete handshakes were linked to more favorable first impressions, but it was a small, correlational study (Psychology Today). Treat it as a hint, not a rule.
7. Show interest, and use the name. Ask one open question and then really listen. Repeating the person's name two or three times in the conversation, as the book suggests, helps you remember it and shows attention. Do not overdo it.
8. Be positive, humble and yourself. Show what you know through what you do and ask, not by announcing it. Be careful with irony at a first meeting, because the other person does not know you yet and may not read it as you intend. We suggest caution here. Trying to look like someone else usually shows.

The first minute, step by step

Many guides stop at "be confident". Here is a plan you can rehearse. It works for a new colleague, a guest at a party or a person you are meeting through friends.

For longer conversations, the book's method for small talk is to move through four easy areas: family, occupation, recreation and dreams. Start with the lightest ones and share a little about yourself too, so it feels like an exchange and not an interview.

One focus for each situation

The habits stay the same, but one of them usually matters most.

For the interview and the date, you will find detailed help in our articles on how to answer "tell me about yourself" and what to talk about on a first date.

What if the first impression went badly?

It happens to many of us: you were nervous, late, or said something awkward. The good news is that a first impression is a starting point, not a verdict. A German career magazine notes that a first impression can be questioned by new information, although this usually takes longer and there is no guarantee (IQB Karrieremagazin, in German). A Spanish marketing site makes the same point: it is much easier to lose a good image than to turn a negative first impression into a positive one (Puromarketing, in Spanish).

Here is what tends to help:

• Acknowledge it briefly. One short, calm sentence is enough: "Sorry I was a bit flustered earlier, it's been a busy morning." No long apologies.
• Do not withdraw. Avoiding the person makes the first picture stronger. Stay in contact.
• Be consistent. Show up on time, do what you said you would do and be courteous, several times, over days or weeks. Repeated behavior is what slowly changes a first picture.
• Follow up in writing. After an interview or a meeting, a short thank-you message with one specific detail shows that you pay attention.

Be patient. A bad start does not define you, and changing someone's mind takes more than a single good moment.

There is also encouraging research. In a study published in Psychology Research and Behavior Management, pairs of university students who did not know each other talked for five minutes, then rated on a scale from 1 to 7 how much they liked their partner and how much they thought their partner liked them. On average, people guessed they were liked 4.71, while their partners actually rated them 5.46. A second experiment found the same gap: 4.82 against 5.49 (Li, Zhong and Mo, 2020). Earlier researchers called this pattern the liking gap. It was a small study, so treat it as a hint, but it suggests that a first meeting often goes better than you fear.

Three myths about first impressions

• "Words are only 7% of communication." You may have seen the 7%, 38% and 55% split for words, voice and facial expression. Its author, Albert Mehrabian, states that these figures apply only to messages about feelings and attitudes where words and body language disagree, and that they are not valid otherwise (Mehrabian's own page). What you say still matters a lot.
• "You must impress people." Aiming to impress tends to come across as effort. Aim to make the other person feel comfortable and interested.
• "Everyone will judge you the same way." Judgments depend on the person's culture, mood and experience. You can be considerate, but you cannot please everybody, and that is fine.

Where our book fits

Books Go Publications publishes a broad handbook on everyday communication by Mateo Nevarez. It does not exist in English: the book shown below, Lenguaje Corporal, Comunicación Persuasiva y Retórica, is written in Spanish, so it is useful if you read Spanish comfortably. In French and German we publish other books on similar topics, by different authors.

A short chapter gives ten tips for leaving a good impression: smile, be relaxed, be positive, be humble, show your knowledge indirectly, use humor, be assertive, offer a firm handshake, dress suitably and be on time. A later chapter applies the ideas to ten everyday situations, including a first date, small talk with strangers and a job interview. Other chapters cover body language, active listening and assertiveness, which support the same habits.

It is a general handbook, not a course on social skills and not a book about shyness or anxiety. It gives you a clear list and exercises you can practice on your own. A Spanish audiobook exists too. Books Go Publications, based in Brentford in the United Kingdom, works with several authors who write in different languages; in French and German it publishes other books on similar topics, by different authors and with their own content.

To go further, read our articles on how to read body language, small talk topics and daily self-confidence exercises. You will find our other titles on the Books Go Publications home page and more ideas on the Books Go Publications blog.

When to ask a professional

Feeling nervous when you meet new people is normal. Talk to a doctor or a psychologist if the fear lasts for months, makes you avoid work, school or relationships that matter to you, or comes with intense symptoms such as a pounding heart or trouble breathing. A coach or a practice group can help with technique; a professional can help when the fear itself is the problem. If you are in distress, you can find a helpline in the international directory Find a Helpline.

Who it is for

These habits help anyone who meets new people for something that matters to them.

• Job seekers: rehearse the first-minute plan and arrive early, because a calm, prepared start leaves room for your answers to be heard.
• New team members: focus on names, punctuality and questions in the first weeks, which builds trust faster than trying to prove yourself on day one.
• People dating or making new friends: lead with curiosity and one honest detail about yourself, so the meeting feels like an exchange rather than a test.
• Freelancers and people who meet clients: end with a specific thank-you and a clear next step, which turns a pleasant first meeting into a working relationship.

Key terms

• First impression: the quick judgment people form about someone before they have had time to know them.
• Heuristic: a mental shortcut that helps us decide fast but can lead to errors.
• Stereotype: a fixed, simplified idea about a group of people that can color a snap judgment.
• Liking gap: the tendency to underestimate how much a new conversation partner liked us.
• Mehrabian's 7-38-55 rule: figures on words, voice and face that apply only to messages about feelings when words and body language disagree.

Frequently asked questions about first impressions

How long does it take to make a first impression?

Research on faces suggests that a judgment can form in about a tenth of a second, and that more time mostly makes people more confident in it. In real meetings, the impression keeps being updated during the first minutes, so what you say and do still counts.

Can you change a bad first impression?

Often yes, but it usually takes longer than forming it. Stay in contact, acknowledge the slip briefly and behave consistently over time. There is no guarantee, and a calm attitude helps more than a long explanation.

What should I wear to make a good first impression?

Clothes that suit the place and the people, that are clean and that you feel comfortable in. If you are unsure, it is safer to be slightly more formal than the setting.

Is a firm handshake important?

Where people shake hands, a medium-firm handshake with a short look is a safe choice. One study of 112 students linked firmer handshakes to better first impressions, but it was small, so do not make it your only focus.

How can I make a good impression if I am shy?

Use the plan in this article and prepare two or three questions in advance. Interest in the other person takes pressure off you, and a quiet, attentive listener often leaves a good impression. If shyness stops you from doing things you care about, a professional can help.

Should I use humor?

Light, kind humor can help, but be careful with irony at a first meeting. The other person does not know you yet and may take a joke the wrong way. Let humor come from the situation, not from someone else's expense.

Sources

• Willis and Todorov, “First Impressions”, Psychological Science (2006)
• Li, Zhong and Mo, “Negative Deviation Effect in Interpersonal Communication”, Psychology Research and Behavior Management (2020)
• British Psychological Society Research Digest, "Your trustworthiness is judged in a tenth of a second, or less" (2006)
• Psychology Today, "What You Can Learn From a Handshake"
• Albert Mehrabian, "Silent Messages": the 7%-38%-55% figures
• IQB Karrieremagazin, "Guter erster Eindruck" (in German)
• Puromarketing, "Primeras impresiones" (in Spanish)