To learn how to read body language, start with one rule: never trust a single gesture. Notice how the person usually behaves, watch for changes, look for several signals pointing the same way, and then check your guess by asking. Body language gives you clues about how someone may feel, not a translation of what they think. Below you will find four steps to follow, a table of common signals with the other things they can mean, a short look at the famous “7-38-55” figures and a seven-day practice plan.
In brief:
- Learn a person’s normal behavior before you interpret anything.
- One gesture can mean several things, or nothing at all.
- Look for a cluster of signals, then consider the setting.
- Treat your reading as a guess and check it by asking.
- Gestures vary with culture, habits and personality.
In this article · 8 min read
- What is body language?
- How to read body language in 4 steps
- Common body language signals and what else they can mean
- What about the 7-38-55 rule?
- How culture changes the picture
- Reading your own body language
- A 7-day practice plan
- What our book in Spanish adds
- When body language is not the right tool
- Questions about how to read body language
- Sources
What is body language?
Body language is everything we communicate without words: facial expressions, eye contact, posture, gestures, the distance we keep and the way we use our voice. Wikipedia groups all of this under nonverbal communication and notes that the meaning of many signals depends on culture. Eye contact is a good example. In many Western settings it is read as attentiveness and honesty, while in some other cultures it can be seen as disrespectful, and a lack of eye contact does not necessarily mean someone is not paying attention.
That is why reading people is less about memorizing a dictionary of gestures and more about paying attention. Career experts at Robert Half give the same core advice: judge each sign by its context and by the person’s known habits, never in isolation.
How to read body language in 4 steps
You do not need training or special equipment, only a little patience. These steps work in a meeting, on a first date or at a family dinner.
- Learn the baseline. Before you read anything, notice how the person normally sits, gestures and looks at you. A restless person may simply think better while moving. A signal only means something compared with that person’s usual behavior.
- Spot the change. The useful information is the shift: someone who was relaxed and suddenly sits back with folded arms when a certain subject comes up is telling you more than someone who always sits that way.
- Look for a cluster, in context. One signal is a hint; three or four pointing in the same direction are a pattern. Crossed arms, a clipped voice, a turned torso and a glance at the door say more together than any one of them alone. Then consider the setting: crossed arms in a cold room may only mean the room is cold.
- Check by asking. Use what you see to ask a better question, not to announce a conclusion. “You seem a bit unsure about this, is that right?” leaves the door open. “You’re hiding something” closes it.
Our book on this subject, mentioned below, makes a similar warning: a single gesture can mean several things or nothing, so the book advises looking for groups of signals.
Common body language signals and what else they can mean
The table shows readings that appear often in guides such as Robert Half’s, next to other explanations to keep in mind. The last column is the important one.
| Signal | Often read as | It can also be |
|---|---|---|
| Crossed arms | Unease, defensiveness | Feeling cold, a comfortable habit |
| Little eye contact | Discomfort, disinterest | Shyness, concentration, respect in some cultures |
| Feet pointed away from you | A wish to leave | The way the chair happens to face |
| Leaning slightly forward | Interest, engagement | Trying to hear better |
| Frequent touching of face or objects | Nervousness, discomfort | Boredom, a long-standing habit |
| A smile that moves only the mouth | A polite smile | A reserved person’s genuine smile |
| Open arms, upright torso | Receptiveness, confidence | Simply a relaxed day |
According to Robert Half, a smile that is genuine usually also crinkles the corners of the eyes, and feet pointed toward you can suggest interest. Treat these as tendencies. Our book gives a few more examples, such as a clenched fist for held-back anger, a shrug for “I don’t know” and hands in pockets for disinterest, and adds the same warning that none of them is certain.
What about the 7-38-55 rule?
You have probably heard that “93% of communication is nonverbal.” This comes from the “7%-38%-55%” figures attributed to the psychologist Albert Mehrabian: 7% words, 38% tone of voice, 55% facial expression. According to Wikipedia’s entry on Mehrabian, the figures combine two small experiments from 1967. In one, listeners judged single recorded words such as “dear” or “terrible” said in different tones; in the other, they judged photographs of faces together with tone of voice. Mehrabian himself states on his website that these equations apply only to feelings and attitudes, and the article lists further limits: the context was artificial, only women took part, only positive and negative emotions were compared and posture was not studied.
So the numbers say something narrow: when someone’s words, voice and face contradict each other about how they feel, we tend to trust the voice and face. They do not show that most meaning in any conversation comes from the body. When you give a talk or explain a plan, the words matter a great deal.
How culture changes the picture
The same gesture can carry different meanings across cultures. Wikipedia’s overview gives a few examples: the “OK” sign signals approval in some places, means “money” in others and is an offensive gesture in yet others; an upward nod can mean “no” in some regions. Comfortable personal distance also varies. The distance zones that Edward T. Hall described, from intimate to public, are said to reflect American culture, and people in some regions stand closer when talking than people in others.
In practice: with someone from a different background, give your reading even less weight and your questions even more. If you are traveling or working with an international team, ask or observe before you conclude.
Reading your own body language
You can use the same four steps on yourself. Our book suggests a few habits: ask a friend how you come across, record your voice, copy speakers you admire, stand upright, lean in slightly when someone talks and match your facial expression to your words. It also says to mirror others “not obsessively”: copying every move looks odd. Eye contact should be natural, a little less with very shy people or when you know the other person’s culture finds it intense.
A 7-day practice plan
Skills improve in small doses. Five minutes a day is enough.
| Day | Exercise |
|---|---|
| 1 | In one conversation, only notice the baseline: how does this person normally sit and speak? |
| 2 | Spot one change from that baseline and write down what was being discussed |
| 3 | Watch a short video with the sound off and note three signals, not one |
| 4 | Turn one of your readings into a gentle question: “You seem…, is that right?” |
| 5 | Notice your own posture three times during the day |
| 6 | Record yourself explaining something for one minute and look for natural gestures |
| 7 | Review the week: which of your readings turned out wrong, and why? |
That last step is the most useful one. Being wrong a few times is how the skill improves.
What our book in Spanish adds
Our book on these skills is written in Spanish: Lenguaje Corporal, Comunicación Persuasiva y Retórica by Mateo Nevarez, roughly “Body language, persuasive communication and rhetoric.” There is no English edition, so it suits readers of Spanish or those learning it. Chapters 10 and 11 deal with reading people and nonverbal communication: tone of voice, gestures, facial expressions, posture, the six basic facial expressions, the eyes and the smile, touch, the distance between people and the vocal cues that come with speech. They include exercises.
It is a general communication handbook rather than a body language manual: the same book also covers listening, assertiveness, negotiation and public speaking. It does not promise that you can read anyone like a book, and the text itself says so. For this topic, chapters 10 and 11 are the place to start.
You will find more practical guides on the Books Go blog and our other titles on the Books Go Publications home page. If this topic interests you, the guide to active listening techniques pairs well with it, since listening and watching work together, and our article on small talk topics shows how to keep a conversation going once you have noticed how the other person feels.
When body language is not the right tool
Body language is not a diagnosis. Do not use it to decide that someone is lying, depressed or dangerous. If a person you know seems to be in distress, ask them directly and gently, and encourage them to talk to a doctor or a mental health professional. If you or someone near you is in danger, find a local support line through the international directory Find a Helpline.
Questions about how to read body language
What is the first thing to look at when reading body language?
Start with the person’s baseline, meaning how they normally behave. Only a change from that baseline tells you something, and even then it is a clue, not proof.
Can body language tell me if someone is lying?
Not reliably. No single gesture shows that a person is lying, and nervousness is common in honest people too. Treat any mismatch between words and body as a reason to ask a question, not as a verdict.
What does it mean when someone crosses their arms?
It can mean unease or defensiveness, but it can also mean the person is cold or simply comfortable. Look at the rest of the body, the tone of voice and the situation before you decide.
Is it true that 93% of communication is body language?
No. The 7-38-55 figures come from two experiments in 1967 about feelings and attitudes, and Mehrabian himself says they do not apply to communication in general.
Does body language mean the same thing everywhere?
No. Eye contact, gestures, nods and personal distance are read differently in different cultures, so the same signal can be friendly in one place and rude in another.
How can I improve my own body language?
Ask for feedback, record yourself, stand upright, lean in when you listen and let your expression match your words. Small, natural changes work better than copying a rigid script.
